Sunday 16 November 2014

The babysitter from Hell?

Whether your child is disabled or not, would you trust a "Registered" home based babysitter with your child, only hearing about her by word of mouth? 
In the late 90's was a babysitter trusted?
What were their physical limitations as a babysitter?

I was born in 1994 and as you know I was born with a physical disabily. It was quite challenging for my mum and dad when it came to being the bread winners for their family. It came to a stage where both, my mum and dad had to get out in the workforce as Centrelink were denying them a carers payment, "I wasn't severe enough". 
They used to take me to my grandparents house to be babysat, but, as everyone has their own lives, my grandparents couldn't always take care of me.
My mum and dad were running out options to where I could stay while they were working. Because they lived in a small country town, everyone knew everyone else. They had heard about a "Registered" home based babysitter. She was a "friend" of everyone's, trusting, honest, caring (IF you MUST). I can remember the first couple of days now, so "kind" to me and my parents, then, BOOM! One day my mum dropped me off at her house, as a "normal" child does, I cried for a bit because I didn't want my mum to leave.
As soon as my mum left, she smacked me for crying and told me "if you don't shut up you'll get another one" and threatened me that if I told anyone that I'll also get another smack, then threw me on the bed, "now go to sleep or think about what you've done". 
When I woke up, I was hoping I had slept enough so that it was time for me to go home. She came into the room, picked me up "are you ready to eat"? My heart sunk as it became clear to me that this was what I would have to endure. Because I had a disability, it was harder for me to be as active as someone without a disability, which is why I had trouble with passing bowel movements which led me to being constipated, but, I also had trouble with holding my bladder. All my meals had to consist of vegetables mixed with mashed potatoes, fruit and lots of water. SHE (who will unfortunately not be named) was feeding me lunch that my mum had provided, which was supposed to last for the whole day, while feeding me, she was going too fast and I hardly got the chance to swallow before she gave me the next spoonful, I obviously had my mouth full when she tried forcing more food into my mouth, I told her that I'd had enough, "no you can eat more", my mum had given her instructions that I need to eat so that it would help me go to the toilet, she thought that she needed to make me eat the whole lot. I told her that I felt sick, she kept forcing it down my throat, until I vomited all over her. I would've only been about 2 or 3, MAYBE 4, so I can't remember everything because I wanted to block that memory off, but, I remember copping a wack on my leg (which had surgery done to it months ago), picked me up with my own vomit still on me and getting thrown me on the bed again, "you little bitch you just don't learn you must like upsetting me you're not coming out until you learn your lesson". SHE usually looked after other children as well. Another day that I was there SHE was babysitting other children, and as I said because I have a physical disability, it was hard for me to hold my bladder. I really had to go to the toilet (which I needed help with) but she was no where to be seen, I had an accident on the floor because she wasn't there to help me. When she finally appeared, she'd seen the accident, she started yelling at me, "how could you do this you silly girl" and said to the other kids "now kids you don't want to end up like Sheree". She then picked me up threw me on the bed and whacked me again, "you are not coming out". The physical, emotional abuse and bullying me to the other parents and children, the name calling, had gone on for months, a whole year. I tried telling my mum and dad, my grandmother even, she all had them brain washed that "she is saying it for attention". It was in the late 90's, not a lot of people knew what rights they had.
I had to endure this taument for 2 years until anyone believed me, or, until she screwed herself up. One day, I had an accident because she took me on an outing. When we got back to her house, she noticed, and this time, she threw me on the bed and hit me three times in the same spot (the leg). Naturally I cried, "if you don't shut your mouth you'll get another one". I'm not sure how it happened, but, she must have hit me too hard one day which left a welt mark on my leg which my mum and dad seen. All that time she was hitting me, she was hitting me hard enough that it would hurt but not too hard that it would leave a mark. And constantly threatened me if I "told on her", she was very clever to have me so scared as I was.
I'm now 20 years old and have been diagnosed with PTSD, amongst other things, this memory would also be the cause of it.
You have to wonder how on earth she ever became a "Regitered" home based babysitter, with no morals whatsoever. She's just lucky that it's illegal to name and shame!
This memory haunts me, I constantly get flash backs from those years, but, I will defeat it.